You'd think that with a long layoff, a relaxing Thanksgiving weekend, and the relative ease of talking into a microphone, that we'd be able to deliver a great podcast this week. Yeah? Well, you'd be wrong.

This is a total train wreck. If you've never listened to the podcast before, don't start here.

New podcast coming soon. We'll try harder.

Happy Halloween from Bleak House Books.

We've got a special treat for you. No tricks. We're joined by agent Donna Bagdasarian of the Maria Carvainis Agency. She's dispensing all kinds of advice like penny candy. Hold out your pillow case. Plenty of information ahead.

And maybe a razor blade or two.

We're back, armed with fall news, new recipes, and plans for a terrible grocery store publishing venture. You, if you make it all the way through the thing, may hear us discussing Mr. McLego (an intern project). Here are the other materials that were mentioned.

Mr. McLego promotes Head Games by Craig McDonald the video. Go here.

Photographs of the intern built Mr. McLego replica house are here.

It's been extremely busy at Bleak House headquarters. We've only now shipped our seventh book off to the printer. As a celebration for a lot of hard work (mostly Alison's), we decided to put the band back together and do another one of our longwinded and ultimately overindulgent podcasts.

We hope you enjoy.

It's been a month. Travel. Heat. Planning. They've all gotten in our way, but we've vanquished them all, and have come back (defiant as ever) to bring you THE FUTURE IS BLEAK.

We are your marionette, dear listener.

Dana Kaye is back to bust us in the chops.

Bumper music--Husker Du, "Diane"

Dana Kaye comes to interrogate us. This thing is so long it's going to continue tomorrow.

Today's bumper music: "Roads and Cars" by The Green Mist

We're joined by Patrick Balester, the winner of our most recent contest. He gets the chance to ask us questions on behalf of author nation.

Also, check out Ken Bruen tonight on Craig Ferguson.

Today's bumper music--"Black Swan" by Thom Yorke.

 After a week long hiatus and a whole bunch of caffeine, we're back to ramble, prattle, discuss, and generally waste time. Oh yeah, and we also picked the winners of our first ever ASK A PUBLISHER contest. To find out who won, you'll have to listen to the podcast.

Was it you?

Busy day at Bleak House. Short podcast and an interview with the delightful Jen Jordan.

This podcast consists mainly of shout outs to former interns, a rehashing of other things, and for the most part is a waste of time. If you're amused by stuff like that, well, you've got a real treat for you just a few seconds away.

Author Craig McDonald (Head Games, Bleak House, Sept.) stops by and talks about the legend surrounding the missing head of Pancho Villa, the Bush family involvement, and what role the Yale University's Skull and Bones society may have played in the whole thing. He also talks about writing and authors. This interview could have gone on for hours.

Meanwhile (or, actually, beforehand) Ben and Alison discuss the news of the day, taste test a new energy drink, and offer an invitation to any aspiring author--be a guest on the podcast and ask all the questions you want to of a real live publisher. Interested in that last bit? Send an email to publicity@bleakhousebooks.com to get your name in the hat.

Jonathan Messinger joins us from Chicago by way of The Future is Bleak virtual studio. We discuss his independent publishing house Featherproof, the challenges facing an indy to define who they are without being the "anti-BIG PUBLISHING young punk," what editorial niche Featherproof is trying to fill, and some other things including Featherproof submission guidelines.

Those of you in the Chicago area should go out and support them tonight. For more information visit www.featherproof.com

For more on Jonathan visit www.shootthemessinger.com

This podcast is dedicated to Punk Planet (who set a great model for both Bleak House Books and Featherproof). Thank you for everything. Your spirit lives on.

What's expected of an author? What's expected of a publishing company? The great promotional discussion continues.

Brief show. We discuss big publishing vs. small publishing. Pros and cons. Not much to it.

b.

We talk about first time authors (for real this time) and answer questions about what we publish and who reads our books. Probably the best 20 minutes we've spent today. We hope you enjoy.

Quite possibly the most indulgent podcast in the history of the internet. A true challenge to anybody's patience. And, if you make it through all that, there's the often discussed Sean Chercover interview.

How can a first time writer get published? We give our answer. We also waste time talking about what we've been reading and doing around the office.

Today marks a tragic day here at the Future is Bleak. What you are listening to is the second take of the June 11th episode. The first take was not recorded, but may very well have been the funniest thing we'd done to date. We are truly saddened by the loss of this hilarity.

We somehow managed to discuss the Dorito X-13D again (Alison procured a bag for me), answered some questions, and yammered on at great length about nothing in particular.

Intern Derek joined us in the second half of the show to discuss his near fatal rollerblading incident.

We want to send a very loud and sincere "Get Well Soon, Good Man" to Paul A. Toth (p.dot). You're in our thoughts.

With Alison out of the office, I'm left to fend for myself. So, I do what I can, answer a quick question about submission guidelines, and then interview Mike Segretto of the infamous Contemporary Press (a kindred spirit to Bleak House if ever there was one). Enjoy.

For more information on Contemporary Press, visit them www.contemporary press.com

We drag part of our army of interns into the podcast world while we wait for the Category 15 storm that is coming our way. This may be the last podcast evah!

If not, we'll be back tomorrow.

We answer a bunch of publishing questions that have popped up.

We're back. And so is our energy. More Book Expo America recapping and other nonsense. Pretty soon the guests will be back.

We're back from Book Expo America, burned out, delinquent on the whole podcast thing, and only able to muster a half-entertaining (if at all entertaining) couple of minutes.

Tomorrow will be a gem.

Hopefully.

We talk about pizza, the battle between what's good and what'll sell, and other publishing things.

Question you want answered? Send your email to publicity@gmail.com.

Join us as Alison interviews author Marshall Cook (Twin Killing) on the eve of a big release party.

We meet Nathan Cain, book reviewer, blogger, and the man behind indiecrime.blogspot.com

Tomorrow's guest (sure, we've heard this before, Ben) will be Sean Chercover. I think I'm sensing a trend.

We talk about writing for the market, the many uses of the internet, and a recap of Bill Bryan's big Book Soup event.

We went without a guest today so that we could answer a bunch of questions about the house and publishing with all of the trademark rambling you've come to expect from us.

It's also important to note that today's episode is dedicated to the recently retired, but no less cool Ms. Snark. We thank her for the support over the years and wish her well in future endeavors.

Join us as we talk about long waiting times in the submission line, comic attempts at child supervision, and an interview with former television writer/producer (Night Court and Coach) Bill Bryan where we discuss his debut novel Keep it Real.

More more on Bill visit www.bill-bryan.com

We'll be back on Monday. Send us your publishing questions--publicity@bleakhousebooks.com

Have a good weekend.

Ben and Alison

Join us as we discuss nothing, PublishAmerica authors, and interview French publisher Judith Vernant of Moisson Rouge.

Join us as we discuss e-books, brand new Dorito flavors, and interview world famous blogger, LA Times book reviewer, publishing personality, and all-around cool gal Sarah Weinman.

For more information on Sarah, please visit her website at www.sarahweinman.com

We're joined by Wilda Williams of Library Journal and we answer questions about publishing.

An interview with Marcus Sakey and a brief introduction to the Bleak House team.

An introduction to Evan Kilgore, author of the novel Who is Shayla Hacker, coming this June from Bleak House Books.